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The Art of Negotiating

John Doran


The Art of Negotiating

Nobody has to lose for you to win ! Wise words to remember.

In light of Mike Barnacle’s journalistic fiasco from a few years ago, I wish I could attribute them accurately to their author, but I don’t know who that is.

I heard it from a former secretary, and she credited her father. Regardless of who coined the phrase, it should be your mantra whenever you negotiate.

Maybe it’s our winner take all sports culture or the influence of litigating attorneys, but there is one mistake I see people make more than any other when negotiating in the real estate business -> going in with the wrong attitude. Unlike the two sides in a sports match, the parties entering into a real estate deal actually want different things. The art of creating a good deal comes from developing skills to discern what each party really wants and then coming as close as possible to giving them just that.

The beauty of the deal as opposed the lawsuit, is that the two parties, if realistic, can both get what they want. A deal offers the opportunity of a win-win outcome, something rarely seen on the playing field or in the courtroom.

Watch a successful negotiator at work sometime. First you will see a person who treats others cordially and with respect. Next you will witness “dumb as a fox”. The negotiator asks all the “stupid” questions just to make sure the other party’s desired outcome is clearly stated. You will hear the same issues repeated in a variety of ways as this skilled listener works to establish the other party’s top priorities.

Finally, you will see the master build an offer that comes as close as possible to giving the other party their desired outcome while still achieving what the negotiator set out to accomplish in the first place. In the process, the negotiator discovers what’s truly important to the other party. If it’s realistic and achievable within the negotiator’s own framework, a deal is born. If not, the negotiator smiles, shakes hands, and walks away. A negotiator knows that if he’s not willing to walk away, he’s not in a position to negotiate in the first place. This deal maker burns no bridges and may very well come back another day to finish what was started. Even more important, behaving as a pro, a true negotiator creates more deal-partners for tomorrow with every win-win accomplished today.

John Doran

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RealtorJohn DoranEqual Housing
REALTOR® / Educator

4 Bow Lane, Unit 203
Bedford, NH 03110
Office / Cell: 603-566-9921