The Art of Negotiating
Nobody has to lose for you to win ! Wise words to remember.
In light of Mike Barnacle’s journalistic fiasco from a few years
ago, I wish I could attribute them accurately to their author, but I don’t
know who that is.
I heard it from a former secretary, and she credited her father. Regardless
of who coined the phrase, it should be your mantra whenever you negotiate.
Maybe it’s our winner take all sports culture or the influence
of litigating attorneys, but there is one mistake I see people make more
than any other when negotiating in the real estate business -> going
in with the wrong attitude. Unlike the two sides in a sports match, the
parties entering into a real estate deal actually want different things.
The art of creating a good deal comes from developing skills to discern
what each party really wants and then coming as close as possible to giving
them just that.
The beauty of the deal as opposed the lawsuit, is that the two parties,
if realistic, can both get what they want. A deal offers the opportunity
of a win-win outcome, something rarely seen on the playing field or in
Watch a successful negotiator at work sometime. First you will see a
person who treats others cordially and with respect. Next you will witness
“dumb as a fox”. The negotiator asks all the “stupid”
questions just to make sure the other party’s desired outcome is
clearly stated. You will hear the same issues repeated in a variety of
ways as this skilled listener works to establish the other party’s
Finally, you will see the master build an offer that comes as close as
possible to giving the other party their desired outcome while still achieving
what the negotiator set out to accomplish in the first place. In the process,
the negotiator discovers what’s truly important to the other party.
If it’s realistic and achievable within the negotiator’s own
framework, a deal is born. If not, the negotiator smiles, shakes hands,
and walks away. A negotiator knows that if he’s not willing to walk
away, he’s not in a position to negotiate in the first place. This
deal maker burns no bridges and may very well come back another day to
finish what was started. Even more important, behaving as a pro, a true
negotiator creates more deal-partners for tomorrow with every win-win
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